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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Lucy MaGill's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, September 14th, 2006
11:20 pm
Post-crastination
Protip:  Bar soap is not shampoo.

It feels like a bird shat in my hair.

Current Mood: annoyed
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
3:12 pm
That magical time

Whoo.  At the moment I'm in Fredonia.  I found a place to live yesterday, and thank god the price is right.  Unfortunately, I can't bring up my pets.  Poor scuzzy, tweek, brody and demon'll have to suffer through a semester of "thooooomas! get up here and clean out their little poos!"  Ah well.  For $250 a month for a whole house, tough titties for me.  Looks like smooth sailing for fall 2006.

Next on the agenda: paying my cell phone bill.  So I can use it.



Current Mood: grateful
Monday, July 24th, 2006
12:21 am
I has a car.
I have to be to work at 8 am, so I'll make this quick.

I got a car to replace the one that floated away.

I go back to Fredonia on (possibly) the 7th.

Kiera and Tim are moving to Ithaca the 29th.

My hand smells like ass from chopping onions.

Frolicking rats are PRECIOUS.

Current Mood: amused
Monday, July 10th, 2006
1:48 am
Ye Olde Summer Diversion
Went to the Sterling Renaissance Faire on saturday with darkgod_touda and thegreyarcher, met up with couple of chi pi-ees (I don't know their lj nicks), and ran into backpedal

Had lots of that thing called fun. 

Also, elephants are bigger in person.

Current Mood: pleased
Thursday, July 6th, 2006
12:22 am
And then there were three.
So yes.  In case anyone missed it, my neck of the woods had a little water problem last week.  Thankfully my apt and job were spared, although it was quite a sight to behold with whole city blocks seven feet under water.  I wish I had taken some pictures.

Anyway.  While god was shitting on us, I thought "OH FUCK MY CAR" (which was being repaired at the dealership where I bought it in Sidney) and I called my grandma, who is a tasty jaunt away from there.  She assured me that she was assured by the dealership that they had anticipated the catastrophe and had moved all their vehicles to higher ground.  Fantastic, I thought .

Wrong!

When my grandma went to go check on the car, she discovered about 4 inches of water inside of it.  The dealer grudgingly admitted that a "few cars didn't make it" and that whatever damage was incurred would be fixed no cost.  Naturally, she tells me right away.  Even more naturally, I call my insurance.  Before that, I called the dealer myself.  This is EXACTLY how it went:

Me: Hi, Gary?
Gary: Hello Jessica.  Your part is on back order but it will be here soon.
M: Um, good.  Anyway, I called because I heard there was a little water problem with my car.
G: Oh, let me put you through to the mechanic.

(waiting)

Mechanic: Jessica?  Your car is almost done.  We've been waiting on the heat shield.
Me: Yes, Gary told me.  Anyway, what's this about my car getting flooded?
Mech: What?  There was no flooding.
Me: Are you sure?  I mean, my grandmother was in there and saw water in the car.
Mech: Oh.  Well, it was in the shop when the flood hit.  But all it did was sit in a little water. 
Me: None got inside?
Mech: No, I don't think so. 
Me: Ok, thanks for the info.

Now at this point  I was pretty pissed.  I mean, someone here was full of shit, and I know it wasn't my grandmother.  I called the insurance company, and later that day I spoke to the area rep.  She was super awesome.  I told her what happened, and she said that all the cars damaged in the flood were being mass transported to a central location so the adjusters could get on it.  She also said that if water submerged the floorboards, the car would be totaled.  The logic was as and insurance company, shit like this ruins cars; they may be superficially fixable, but there's no guarantee that the car won't have problems because of the wiring and shit.  Therefore, it's better to give a massive payout than risk having hundreds of crapmobiles under policy.  Lucky for me, the credit union stuck me with comp and collision, so I'm not completely fucked in the butt.  Except for the $500 deductible.

I had to go get my personal effects from the car, and I'll tell you what...getting a trunkfull of crap in the noonday sun from a car that smells like a stagnant pond is not how I wanted to spend my day off.  When I got there, a week after the flood mind you, there was still water in it.  And what's more, everything in the back seat is ruined.  I had a bag of clothes, a vcr, a table fan, and a framed print that are getting tossed.  Great. 

I'm sad about the car, but it's tempered by the fact that the dealership appears to have had every intention of not telling me that it was flooded.  They were probably going to slap in a new carpet and send me home with it, and thats a load of shit.  No amount of shampoo and carpet will get that stank out.  Now I just need to wait and hear from Progressive.

DEAD CAR COUNT (since December 2005):
Jetta
Tercel
Altima

Current Mood: annoyed
Thursday, June 8th, 2006
12:31 am
I've had about enough, thanks.
So she said "I wonder when it was that you became such a rotten little bitch."

I thought "right about the time you became an insipid harpy who's done nothing but complain about everything I've tried to do for you."

I'm not even going to bother explaining how this interaction came about, other than I'm pretty fucking sick of having to deal with a depressed invalid who seems to think that I don't know shit about anything. 

"Gah, I'm out of underpants."
"Why don't you just do your laundry?"
"What?  I thought clothes got clean by magic."

"Tom will be late again."
"I really don't care.  He's 15.  If he can't drag his ass out of bed for school, then that's his problem.  I'm not going to bail him out when the piper comes for payment."
"It's because you don't get up in enough time to get him ready."
"So 15 is too young to master an alarm clock?"

-I just walked in and set the groceries on the kitchen table.  I walk into the living room to find the cell phone-
"Don't forget to put the food away."
"What?  I usually just leave it in the bags, you know, to rot."
-
I get hit in the face with a pair of toenail clippers-

"Are you taking out the trash?"
"Yes."
"Don't forget the catbox."
"I know."
"And the bathroom wastebin."
"I know."
"And the pizza boxes."
"I. know."
"Did you get the recycling?"
"YES."
"All of it?"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I KNOW WHAT TO GET."
"You seem to know everything then."
"It's not like I don't have to do this EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT."

"Did you lock the door?"
"No.  I left it wide open, just like the car doors and the mailbox.  I also left all the lights on, the coffee pot on, and I didn't give the cats water or food."
"You're such a little snot."
"And you're remarkably dense considering you ask me the same question ten times every day."

"What did the doctor say?"
-No response-
"Well?"
"Nothing really."
"Did she give you a prescription?"
"Yeah."
"For?"
"Wellbutrin."
"What?  That's an antidepressant!  You don't need that!  They must have mixed up the order, because I called up there asking for an antidepressant prescription.  I knew I should have gone with you to this appointment."
-I briefly relish the irony of me having to take antidepressants because of the frustration caused by a bitchy, depressed mother-


FUCK ME WITH A GARDEN HOSE.


Current Mood: annoyed
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
9:39 pm
Strangers with Candy MOVIE
One of my favorite shows has been made into a movie.  And it's premeire is on my birthday.  It's as if god is telling me that MAYBE he doesn't hate my guts.  What's more, I have my birthday off!  OH GOD.  I WANT TO GOOOOOOOOOOO.  Too bad it's being shown at a LBGT film festival and costs 50$ American to see it.  I wish I could sucker some poor ass into going with me, but I think most of my friends here wouldn't drop $50+ to go to the city and watch a movie they've never heard of.  Perhaps I could tell Rich we're going out for ice cream and just take him...but the second he spies a rainbow flag, I'm screwed.

OMG AMY SEDARIS

Current Mood: excited
Monday, May 22nd, 2006
12:45 am
Fuck it all.


Current Mood: angry
Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
5:55 pm
I should be wyerking.
It's almost 6, and I've written maybe 2 pages in 5 hours. It better magically evolve into 8 by friday, lest I get reamed by a tiny cuban woman.

Anyway.
I'm tired. This semester was just bad.  I really don't want to think about how much damage control I'm going to have to pull when I get back.  But that is something worth looking forward to after all the shit that I've had to go through.  See figure 1.

Figure 1.0 - Timeline of Spring 2006

January - Uneventful.
February - Declining health.  Insomnia.
March - Behind.  Mounting stress.  Frequent trips home for needle-pokey.
April - Pleased that death not imminent, albeit tempered by the fact that I'm failing two classes.  Irritated by roomate's asinine behavior.
May - Without internet.  Finals.  Disturbed by lack of summer clothing.  Also, asshat next to me on a cell phone talking obnoxiously.  Honestly, how hard is it to walk OUT of a computer lab before loudly discussing your plans for getting wasted?

So my summer plans are as follows, in random order:

Go home (ok, not completely random)
Work
Summer class
Visit Corey
Tend to invalid mother (air out bedsores, spongebathe, etc)
Find new apt
Visit Jordan
Celebrate birthday
Find new apt for mom
Buy Tom an iPod
Celebrate Kiera's birthday
Fix car speakers
Cultivate a sense of purpose
Not lose/break/choke on new iPod nano

I apologize for the sterile layout of this post, but I've been intimate with many lab reports within the past few days and I can't shake the need to be organized.  I have  one last major...thing due, and I'm supposed to be working on it as I speak.  Unfortunately, my interest in it has been waining since the introductory two pages.  Somehow I've become fascinated by the ascension of Elizabeth the First, which means I've already begun losing my mind and I should just take this paperclip, unbend it, and insert it in my ear canal until I can't feel feelings.  Without the internet to entertain me, I've become crabby, listless, and productive.  I so desperately want to browse 4chan, but I think technology services had assigned someone to sit behind me at all times so I don't look at horse porn.  I don't even like horse porn.  Granted, every other pic I seem to run across involves horse penis, but that's just my luck.  Without the constant influx of new information, I've been confined to browsing what's already on my computer (and I've been told that surfing my hard drive is like "looking into Buffalo Bill's basement" lol)  I think this summer I'm going to take a break from the internet and my computer.   It's about time for some of that  self -improvement crap that I've been  neglecting for so long.  Bleh.

Back to work.

Current Mood: okay
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
12:13 am
I want some fucking french toast
So yeah. A couple of weekends ago I went home to get some much needed medical attention. It would have been INFINITELY more convenient to have it done here, but in WNY my insurance is about as useful as a shoe covered in peanut butter. I tried the health center, and after two tries I finally got to see a real doctor; and she proceeded to tell me that I should watch what I eat and go to the counseling center, because I seem "overwhelmed."

Yes, I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because half of what I eat makes me sick, I sleep WAY too much, I get tired after going to class, I'm breaking out in some freaky rash, and I've pretty much lost all interest in anything that doesn't involve sleep.

So I squizzle my way home and saw a real doctor at a real office, not UMA. The doc orders a shitload of bloodwork, an EKG, an echocardiogram, and an abdominal ultrasound. I got the bloodwork done while I was there over the weekend, but everything else is scheduled for spring break.

I was freaking out about the bloodwork, so I had my mom call the hospital once it was done. She called me back and said the nurse told her everything was normal. I was relieved, but at the same time a little disappointed because part of me is afraid this is all in my head, and the last thing I want to be is a fucking hypochondriac.

Anyway, mom calls me a week later and is like "I don't want to alarm you, but the doctor sent me a letter with the results, and some weren't normal." Apparently I have a heart murmur, my epstein-barr antibodies are through the roof, and I failed my ANA screen. In the letter, it said "tests indicate a possible inflammatory autoimmune response." Fabulous. Now that they think I have an autoimmune disorder, I have to be tested for lupus, scleroderma, and a bunch of other nasty diseases. Now my CP can have a companion.

Current Mood: pessimistic
Monday, March 6th, 2006
11:34 pm
Blargh.
I hate going home because all it does is serve to remind me of what I'm missing.

Current Mood: depressed
Friday, February 17th, 2006
10:02 pm
I'm a terrible person.
I have so much work to do.

-A social work test on monday
-A calc test on monday
-A paper due on tuesday
-A problem set due um...now? (it's late)

I'll tell you what though. Feeling like shit is the best demotivator on the planet. Now that I'm finally getting over it I can start on all this crap.


Whoop di do ._.;

Current Mood: blah
Friday, January 27th, 2006
9:19 pm
I'm BOOOOORRRED.
Fuck me. I'm so bored.

Should be doing laundry, but my room is such a wreck that I haven't the energy to attend to it. I need full climbing gear to even get to my bed. I might want to start on it soon though because I can imagine one of my textbooks or otherwise necessary object is buried under a sea of dirty underwear and paper.

Meh.

I just realized, I've been wearing the same pair of jeans for like three weeks. And they've never been washed.

Whatever. I like them, therefore when I do hose them off they'll shrink and become unwearable.

Ugh, I hate being sick. When I wake up I feel like absolute shit, with my head swimming and my throat lined with sandpaper. I got up to hit the alarm and saw jesus. The other night I didn't sleep at all because I was coughing so bad I was dry heaving. The cough is starting to go, but that "weasels nesting in chest and brain" sensation is still very much there. I just don't have the energy to do anything, but I can't sleep.

And I have to work tomorrow. KILL ME PLZ.

Current Mood: tired
Thursday, January 5th, 2006
5:09 am
So yes.
I finally got off my ass and saw Aeon (pronounced A-ON, not E-ON) Flux last night with Joe and Rich. Of course I know that the target demographic for the movie was more or less the "we would love to watch a tightly-clothed Charlize Theron kill people with her deliciously toned thighs" crowd, and not the people who actually know of or have seen the show. Surely this must be the case, because anyone who has seen the MTV cartoon by Peter Chung and/or had the cognitive fortitude to watch all ten episodes would be highly insulted by almost every plot aspect of the movie.

More about this later.

Current Mood: bitchy
Tuesday, December 27th, 2005
12:18 pm
Hark! Hark! Harken'd she.
So, much to my surprise, christmas this year didn't suck. Don't get me wrong, it was still a massive pain in my ass. I'm broke (again) and of course I didn't get the one thing I really needed, but I did make off pretty good, so I'm not going to complain too much.

I got a gift for Fallon, but I feel awkward giving it to her on account that she's ten and I haven't babysat her for almost four years. Her mom probably thinks I'm some kind of sick loliphile. Eww. My aunt got me a book about druids, which amuses my inner celt-whore. My dad really blew it though...lets just say that everything he got me was something I'd never wear/use. Unfortunately, this reflects the every-widening quagmire that exists between us and I take responsibility for my half of it.

I'm back on the schedule at Arby's come january, which is probably the only thing saving me from giving $5 handjobs on susquehanna st. to pay my credit card bill. Either way it means meat in my hands (kill me please).

At some point I need to figure out what I want to minor in so maybe, just maybe, I can get accepted to grad school and get the fuck out of fredonia. If I don't get into a grad program I've decided to move to mexico and hunt chupacabras. Perhaps I should minor in spanish.

Current Mood: okay
Monday, December 19th, 2005
12:51 pm
Obligatory to-do list:
1. Acquire monies.
2. Acquire food.
3. Acquire quarters.
4. Do laundry.
5. Clean room, bathroom, etc.
6. Pay car insurance.
7. Cab ride to PETMOR.
-mice
-carefresh
-time release fish food
8. Feed Demon and clean Brody.
9. Pack.
10. ????
11. Profit.

Current Mood: busy
Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
1:47 am
I lol'd
LOL read moarCollapse )

Current Mood: lazy
Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
5:13 pm
God is skullfucking my life.
So yeah. Was on the phone with Tom today (if you are unaware of how magical it is for me to actually have a semi-continuous convo with my brother, then you'd shit your pants too) and he had quite a bit to say about mom. He says that she started smoking again, and she frequents Elaine and Debbie's house and comes back inebriated. When he confronts her about it, explaining that she already is in poor health, she flips out and starts crying and going off on him about how he doesn't help her around the house. Christ on the Cross...I feel so bad for him right now.

I feel bad for mom too, but I've come to accept that no amount of coaxing/encouraging/pleading will help her MOVE THE FUCK ON. So what if dad found some borderline retard to go to bed with. So what if she fixes his food and is interested in motorcycle shit. I'm glad he's happy. I'd feel even better if he acted a bit more like our father and less like a sperm donor, but I'll take what I can get.

It seems to be all sunshine and rainbows for dad. Mom, however, is collapsing inward on herself like a neutron star. She can't afford her thyroid medication, her arthritis is keeping her from working, and right now she's in some hospital having some stress test on her heart because her doctor said she "needed it asap." She almost got fired the other day because she's too infirm to type, or to really do anything at all. Now she's practically living off dad's child support and he's playing the poverty card because of it. Tom doesn't know what to do, and it's pretty fucked up when a 15 year old boy has to lecture his 50 year old mother about taking better care of herself.

In other news, I'm probably going home for the break, mainly due to some inane spat. I love it when a simple argument turns into the silent treatment and slamming shit around at 2 am. Especially when I have a test in the morning. However, the source of the issue is leaving tonight, so that will cool off the situation and we can perhaps resume acting like rational adults.

Current Mood: irritated
Friday, September 30th, 2005
4:47 pm
lol.
Yoinked from after_yesterday

scandalous!Collapse )

Current Mood: bored
Friday, September 23rd, 2005
8:24 pm
Sometimes I completely forget why I keep a livejournal. Ninety percent of those who might actually be reading it already see me on a quasi-daily basis, so it's not as if what I have to say will be lost to the bat-infested cavern that pretends to be my head, and even then I rarely have anything of earthshattering consequence to reveal. And I know for a fact most of who I talk to couldn't give two shits about what I did today, yesterday, etc, just so long as it doesn't involve me breaking a toilet or consuming the last of the cranberry juice.

Therefore, I've determined (more than once, I just keep forgetting) that I maintain this purely out of my own foolish need to congeal my thoughts and feeling and shit into a media that I can reference back to when I get that deja-vu crap going so that I can relax because, yes, I am as much of an idiot today as I was the last time I posted. Hurrah.

That aside, I'm having a wonderful day.

Really, I swear to God. However, right now I'm bored as fuck because no one's home and there's a sinkfull of dirty dishes that's been glaring at me all afternoon. I really don't care that I'm broke, and that it's cold as the seventh layer of hades in here. What little that has been vexing me lately is my utter lack of CAR. I have one lined up, and little do I care that it's a '94, has 170,000 miles, and is a manual; I have a limited budget and it's kind of antithetical to go car shopping when I have not the means to even DRIVE myself to look at one. I've resigned to the fact that beggars can't be choosers, and at this point I'd take a fucking horse and buggy. At this point the only thing pissing on my glee is the fact that I don't have it yet.

Why? Financial Aid apparently exists in a dimension that only contains one day, and this day is the day where I call and they tell me "Yes, we have all your forms. Call back on friday and we should have it processed." I've called every week since I got back (approx 5 weeks) and that's the response I've received every time. Meanwhile, Verizon is about to hand me back my ghetto pass and I get to run my credit card through the roof because apparently food is a prized commodity around here. As soon as I get my car, it's off to Aldis for substandard yet affordable foodstuffs.

Otherwise, I think I've finally settled into the new apartment. I'm finally sleeping through the night, and not having those weird dreams where I'm perpetually trying to find something that I don't even know I've lost. Those, on the other hand, are much better than the nightmares I used to have about chasing scorpions away from my mother, or where I have AIDS or epilepsy or rickets or some shit. If dreams are a window into my hidden fears, I swear to God I'm the biggest hypochondriac on Earth.

I'm still musing on whether or not to stay an extra semester or to tough it out and graduate in the spring. My thoughts on it at this very moment are more or less I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. What I'm certain of is my desire to attend grad school. Where? Beats me. I have to be realistic, and as I stand now my GPA sucks. If I applied now I'd be laughed out of town with my cumulative 2.6 something. I make no apologies for my academics though; I have my reasons for the shitty performance. Honestly, the next person to make a snide remark about my GPA will get their head bitten off. I know eyes'll start rolling when I say that GPA's are not a conclusive indicator on someone's intelligence, and that not everyone benefits from memorizing a book and regurgitating the information back on command. Rationalizations from a career underachiever, I know.

All that really matters to me is my own sense of self satisfaction. Although it may look to the contrary, I feel like I've finally "grown up" in the past few semesters. I finally realized that the only person I really need to please is myself; not my mother, my friends, my roommates, the school, society; they all can suck on a railroad spike because no matter what I did to make them happy, it never made me feel any better about myself. Don't get me wrong, I very much enjoy being with and doing things for the people I care about. However, I can't let their opinions and frequent mood swings affect my outlook and inner equilibrium, because lord knows that shit used to run my life. I think I've finally come to terms with what kind of person I am; and that's a person who is very self-conscious, emotionally introverted, and neurotically passive-aggressive. I'm also reasonably intelligent and well adjusted, so I don't consider myself a total waste of human life. And this concludes my obligatory long winded, egotistical rant about nothing of any import. Now I'm going to put a dent in those dishes before Rai puts a dent in my skull.

Current Mood: thoughtful
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