User Number: 1512633
Number of Posts: 666
The Jess is a mysterious creature, inhabiting the darkest and most foul corners of the Earth. She feeds on the souls of the unborn, excreting fire and brimstone. Her hobbies include flower arranging and cat-fucking.
Strengths: Can eat an entire ham in thirty seconds, browse 4chan for five days straight, and can also lick her own anus.
Weaknesses: Has no boobies, sunlight, moonlight, and K-Mart Blue Light Specials.
Special Skills: Can double-fist enemies with her giant monkey paws, and hypnotize children to steal their lunchables.
Weapons: Mind bullets and fists of vaginal penetration.
Tender Flakey Cakey: TASTE TEH CAKEY DELICIOUSNESS OF MY GIANT SWISS ROLL. IT IS DELICIOUS AND YOU MUST EAT IT.